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Self Portrait Project: #5

The question of publishing a nude image of the self made me reflect on what I am asking many of my clients to do when I’m publishing their images on this platform. It would be a double standard, I thought if I couldn’t do the same and at the same time there is a certain sense of separateness one feels towards an image like this, it is an image and no longer “you”, it’s a body, it could be any body and its just one moment.

After working with women for so long I think I’m reasonably desensitized to nudity or the body in many respects but at the same time I think I have a heightened understanding of what exposing the body means to many normal women as well, in terms of how we curate how we are seen by others.

From this shoot there were generally many more provocative images than the one I chose in the end and the selection process surprised me.

The final image below was an accident, it was taken after we stopped shooting and I was dancing and jumping around jokingly. I decided on using this image as apposed to the more provocative ones I shot because I think that the expression of joy, movement and freedom, which are expressed in this image, are powerful statements about accepting and understanding our sensuality, the beauty in freedom and confidence as apposed to a contrived notion of it.

I shot this image using two very old movie lights which live in our studio. I covered myself in oil and donned thigh-highs for the shoot. There is still a stain on our grey studio wall which we can’t seem to get off….

Self Portrait Project 005 Leah Hawker 2014

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Projects

Self Portrait Project: #4

The idea for day 4’s selfie was a combination of Jan Saudeks fantastically hancoloured portraits (which were also shot against distressed backgrounds) and an image I found years ago (but can’t seem to find now) of a woman standing in her negligee with an iron and crazy hair. The rollers were in the studio and my hair happily misbehaves anyway if I tease it.

The vintage negligee is a prized possession in my collection-of-things-female. I bought it in Kitwe, Northern Zambia in 2009 at an open air market which was at that time the biggest in Africa until it burned down in 2011. The item, which no doubt originally came from somewhere European, is a typical commodity to find on such a market where second hand clothes get sent to Africa with the understanding that the givers are aiding Africans; the clothes end up on markets being sold and not given away to people in need. I find it bizarre and fascinating idea that a delicate garment so pretty and un-useful  travels such journey in its lifetime.

Anyway,- I like the crazed domestic-ness of the image, and partially re-hand-coloured it to give it the old school appearance which is so familiar to Saudeks work..

Self Portrait Project 004 Leah Hawker 2014

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On other Photographers Projects

Self Portrait Project: #3

Day 3 of the self portraiture project.

I asked my younger sister to stand behind me with her arms out stretched. I wanted to see little snippets of her behind me; her hair, her hip, the cotton undies, etc. I think the elements in the image are simple responses to previous image references I’ve seen, maybe the controversial ad campaign created by American Apparel and Richard Kern with red stockings. It was at a time the company was getting a lot of flak (understatement) about showing provocative images of under age girls and porn stars; they were strong advertising images which caused a lot of outrage and Kern, who I believe shot many of the images, had the perfectly edgy/seedy style to pull it off.

The portrait is strong and protective, I created it intuitively on the day and now when I look at it I’m surprised by these element. I like the corresponding colour in the lips/stockings and towel/background, I like the boldness and strangeness too.

Self Portrait Project 003 Leah Hawker 2014

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Projects

Self Portrait Project: #2

Self portrait, day two, Tuesday 29th July. I shot this against the white wall in the studio, wearing my glasses, a mesh body suit (which I recently added to my collection of shoot props), covered in the studio’s olive oil (only because I couldn’t find the baby oil I thought was in my props collection). The oil adds a sheen to highlights and depending on the thickness which you apply it at it also looks shiny or wet.

Lit with one medium soft box and shot from a raised angle, you can see it creates a perspective which make my head and hands appear bigger and hips and legs appear smaller.

I used a high contrast, grainy B&W filter on the image in post production.

Self Portrait Project 002 Leah Hawker 2014