Categories
Women I've Shot

Birth: This is Shelley’s Story
The Birth of Kingston, 31 October 2018

Shelley lies calmly and quietly on the hospital bed, her hands holding a tiny white baby’s cap and a teeny nappy. She’s wheeled into the operating room and I change into blue scrubs. There are warm smiles all around. This is a scheduled C-section.

Shelley leans over, her back exposed, to get the epidural into her spine. It always makes me nervous to watch that long, thick needle entering such a vulnerable spot.

Shelley lies back and the doctors start to prepare her stomach. They are cleaning and laying down plastic sheeting over her legs and building up a curtain between Shelley’s round belly and her head, hiding the technicalities and gore of surgery. We wait a bit longer for the epidural to take full effect.

The C-section commences. Its magical that a baby is about to appear! A fine line followed by a tiny trail of blood has the first incision is made low down between the roundness of her tummy and her pubic area. The doctors are incredible, so calm, so warm, still smiling. More incisions are made, deeper and I get dizzy for a few moments. Then a gush of pink, fine liquid as they break her waters and open her womb. I see little Kingston’s head, its full of the thickest hair I’ve ever seen on a newborn, so, so very sweet.

His little head peaks out and the doctors hold back for a moment as he pushes himself out a bit, then they guide his head and his wet and vernix covered shoulders out. His hands pop out into the cool air of the operating theatre. The doctors grasp under his armpits and gently pull him out, his little legs kick into a new open space for the first time. A cry escapes as he inhales his first breath and releases it.

The doctors gloved hands clasp him gently to her body and she carefully grips him around his chest and holds him up above the dividing curtain to show Shelley her son for the first time. He opens his eyes, just the smallest squint into this new world, and reaches out and grabs his Moms pinky finger! The sweetest thing! Richard, Shelley’s husband is strong and watching mesmerized and holding his phone up to video the whole process as he meets his son for the first time too.

Kingston is carried to the warmed receiving bed on the left where a pediatrician runs his hand over his little head, over his fontanelle. The umbilical cord is clamped, and round nosed scissors are handed to Richard. He’s transfixed still with his phone watching. He takes the scissors and cuts the cord. Its emotional. Measurements are taken, hospital bracelets are attached. His little back and shoulders are covered in the finest and cutest lanugo I’ve ever seen.

Little Kingston is weighed. 3985 grams. A little frown on his face, his wet dark hair. He’s wrapped in a towel, his nappy and cap are put on by a lovely nurseand he’s on Shelley’s chest, very close to her face. She’s got the biggest smile on her face as she takes his little hand into hers. His tiny fingers are all wrinkled and pink!

Kingston rolls his head around to his mom’s face and places his mouth over hers. A kiss!

The surgery is complete, and Shelley is moved off the operating table and onto a bed and wheeled out of the room.

The towel is removed, and Shelley and Kingston are skin-to-skin. A nurse comes and helps her as Kingston wiggles around her breast looking for her nipple. There are many hands: the nurse, Shelley and the obstetrician all guide his head gently and he latches. The first feed.

Shelley gentle strokes his face while with her other fingers she pushes his nose away from her breast, so he has space to breath. More photos. The new family! The exploration of his little bod for the first time, his hair! They will need a brush Shelley says.

The bed is wheeled back into the ward where the families are eagerly and excitedly waiting for news.

I take a few sweet portraits of Kingston, his hair still wet, before I make a quiet exit and leave Shelley’s family coo-ing and emotional with their first grandchild.

Categories
Women I've Shot

Birth: This is Talitha’s Story
The Birth of Noah, 21 January 2019

I got the call from Talitha at about 1:30am. I grabbed my gear and drove the hour to her house through the quiet dark highways.

The house was so quiet and dimly lit. I put down my things and slowly went upstairs to the loft bedroom where Peter, Talitha and their midwife Ayla were.

I quietly greeted and sat for a while to acclimatise and feel the space out. I tiptoed down stairs a little while later and brought up my tripod and camera and a spare memory card and battery and started, very occasionally, to take a few pictures to capture the scene.

Talitha was at quite an advanced stage of labour when I arrived and within an hour things had become increasingly intense for her. She moved around very little until at one point she kneeled, on a yoga mat, at the end of their plastic and sheet covered bed and she began to moan and push through active labour. Her husband Peter quietly but firmly held her in her space and Ayla stood back behind her, her hands in blue gloves, waiting calmly.

She began to push, she was surprisingly quiet, I almost didn’t realise it was that time. I moved around as fast and quietly as I could to the other side of the bed. A better vantage point. I caught the moment as all three caught Noah as he made his way out of the womb and into the world. Peter and Talitha gently pulled him up into their arms. A warm aura clung to them in those moments. The look on Talitha’s face was peaceful yet intense. I wondered how her body must feel after having a baby leave her moments ago.

They slowly got up, Talitha holding Noah and Peter holding Talitha and they made their way onto the bed where, relieved and thrilled, they stared at their baby and kissed each other.

Those moments were sublime but also became increasingly difficult as we all waited for the birth of her placenta which usually comes out within 30minutes of the birth of the baby. Eventually Ayla clamped the umbilical cord and handed Peter the scissors.

They touched his toes and his tummy and his face and between smiles Talitha cramped and cringed in pain with the contractions of the placenta, which, after more than 35min, had not yet come out. Ayla spoke about ambulances…she put a drip into Talitha’s arm and I took the baby so that Peter could stand on the bed with the drip held up and Talitha could focus on pushing. It was agonising to watch and at the same time a precious moment to hold in my arms such a brand new little human.

Thankfully her placenta eventually made its way out after injections and drips and pushing. I handed Noah back to his parents and peace slowly settled into the room. It was about 3:30am now and I made my way downstairs where I rested and waited for dawn, for the house to wake up.

Little Summer, their daughter, woke up, her hair sweetly dishevelled. Talitha’s mother and Summer made their way upstairs behind me. I wanted to capture this special meeting for them.

Early morning light flooded the loft and Summer tentatively met her little brother for the first time.

After capturing a few moments I said my goodbyes, packed away my gear and quietly left into a beautiful, fresh early morning.

Categories
Women I've Shot

Birth: This is Birgit’s Story
The Birth of Dylan, 21 March 2016

I arrived just after midnight, a dimly lit labour room at Vincent Palloti Hospital. Midwife and doula quietly present either in the labour room or just outside making detailed notes of each stage of Birgit’s labour.  

Stepping into the labour room as quietly as possible, the air felt thick and Birgit was lying like a reclined nude in a Renaissance painting in the water of the tub with her partner by her side.  I know she had been in labour for long already and she was starting to get tired. Hours passed and she moved around the space slowly.

I went home briefly and then returned to the hospital where she had agreed to take an epidural, then rest a bit and then go into theatre for a Caesarian. The doctor who was on standby for epdiurals was unreachable and arrived with an arrogant attitude, disrespecting both the staff and the birthing space. The entire environment went form an internal space to a clinical and fluorescent environment. Long needles, graphs, masks.

The edpidural must have been a relief but she later told me how she felt guilty that her baby was then left alone in the birthing process.

Early morning and the bed was wheeled into the operating theatre; white, green, blue and silver environment, prepared with staff waiting.

After the first few cuts through her abdominal tissue Dylan emerged like a little warrior, frowning, fierce and brave with his little chest proud and strong as he came out of his Moms tummy, absolutely perfect!

The surroundings at that moment faded away and only his little body and all the natural colours of birth become visible for those moments.

Categories
Interviews & Conversations Women I've Shot

Birth: This is Shakirah’s Story
The Birth of ‘Abd al-Matin, 6 October 2015

It was Lana Petersen who connected myself to Shakirah and Ya’eesh. I met with them in their home in Seekoeivlei and was immediately impressed with their sense of confidence and trust in each other, themselves and the process. We discussed their expectations and any concerns or ideas surrounding my presence and that of the camera in their birthing space. They were so open and trusting which left me feeling excited to be present in their process.

Birth-Photography-Cape-Town---001-Newborn-birth-maternity-photography-Leah-Hawker

The experience of witnessing and documenting them was such an honour and left me on an incredible high. The images tell the story just as it was that morning. I asked Shakirah to share her ideas around birth as well as her experience with me, this makes up most of the text below in-between the photographs.

Birth-Photography-Cape-Town---002-Newborn-birth-maternity-photography-Leah-Hawker

I am an introvert and felt the potential threat to the progress of my labour, by unfamiliar surroundings and strangers in my personal space, to be a very real one. I did not want to birth my baby into the artificially lit, cold, clinical confines of a hospital ward, in a building housing sick and suffering people.

Birth-Photography-Cape-Town---003-Newborn-birth-maternity-photography-Leah-Hawker

I believe that the act of birthing a baby is a natural physiological process, that the body is intrinsically equipped for and that it is not a medical condition. I also did not want my brand new baby to be handled roughly by birth attendants who did not view the process as spiritual but merely as routine.

Birth-Photography-Cape-Town---004-Newborn-birth-maternity-photography-Leah-Hawker

I was also alarmed by the fact that the overwhelming majority of, otherwise healthy, young women I knew, were having their babies delivered by Caesarean section and not by choice. This made me very sceptical of the mainstream medical fraternity’s motivation for performing C-sections.

Birth-Photography-Cape-Town---005-Newborn-birth-maternity-photography-Leah-Hawker

I was afraid of possibly having to undergo major abdominal surgery because performing a C-section made more financial sense or because my labour was taking ‘too long’ to progress. I did not want to feel disempowered by having my right to choose encumbered.

Birth-Photography-Cape-Town---006-Newborn-birth-maternity-photography-Leah-Hawker

So when we found out that we were pregnant in January this year I started doing research on the local home-birthing industry, birthing centres and MOU’s (Midwifery and Obstetric Units). I searched the web for information on local homebirths and found the site homebirth.org.za, which had a directory listing midwives, doulas, birthing centres and antenatal classes.

It was also through an online article that I discovered the concept of lotus birthing, where the placenta remains attached to the baby until the umbilical cord dries and detaches naturally, usually within 3 to 5 days. There are many health benefits associated with delaying cord clamping to allow the transfusion of blood from the placenta to the baby, to complete.

Birth-Photography-Cape-Town---007-Newborn-birth-maternity-photography-Leah-Hawker

It also tied in with the theory of birth without violence, where it is believed that our birth affects the rest of our lives and I wanted the birth experience to be as gentle, welcoming and reassuring for our baby as possible and therefore the decision for my husband to catch him was also a natural one.

If we could and hadn’t needed the reassurance of experienced birth attendants, with this being our first baby, we would have chosen to do an unassisted birth, as the baby was conceived with just the two of us and the birth was the culmination of that intensely private process.

Birth-Photography-Cape-Town---008-Newborn-birth-maternity-photography-Leah-Hawker

When I broke the news to my family that we wanted a homebirth, it was met with much resistance and judgment. They were concerned for mine and the baby’s safety, believing that hospitals were the safest places to birth. I initially succumbed to the pressure and booked with the local government MOU, where I went for most of my checkups. Every time I attended an appointment, a different midwife would perform my checkup. It felt very impersonal. With the large volumes of women attending, it would take most of the day and we would be herded through the hallways, to the various rooms, like cattle.

Birth-Photography-Cape-Town---009-Newborn-birth-maternity-photography-Leah-Hawker

Shakirah went into labour on Friday evening on 3rd October, a long and exhausting process which lasted until her baby’s birth at dawn on the 6th. Lana Peterson, her birth attendant, arrived at 9:30pm on the 5th as labour began to become more and more intense.

Birth-Photography-Cape-Town---010-Newborn-birth-maternity-photography-Leah-Hawker

The night seemed to draw on forever with the pain intensifying and my back feeling like it was breaking and my tummy feeling like it was on fire, with each contraction. By 2am I started wailing, tearless, high pitched wails, while still rocking back and forth like a patient in a mental asylum, anticipating and dreading each contraction. I was doing the exact thing I was taught not to do. I started feeling fear and anxiety and it only increased my pain. Lana coached me to make low, guttural sounds but it was of no use. I was too far gone and started begging to be taken to hospital because I needed the pain to be numbed.

Birth-Photography-Cape-Town---011-Newborn-birth-maternity-photography-Leah-Hawker

Lana had made contact with Lydia (Sr. Lydia Du Toit is a Midwife), who arrived shortly, at just after 5am, Tuesday 6 October. They both checked the bath water with torches and confirmed that my waters had broken. Lydia then requested that I get out of the bath so she could check me. She then started coaching me to push, while I held onto Ya’eesh for dear life, first laying on the bed then squatting on the floor being supported under both my arms. She told me to push like I was sitting on the toilet. I was repeating that I couldn’t do it and squirming through the pain. She spoke with authority and demanded my attention and explained to me what it was she needed me to do and how she needed me to do it. I obliged and started feeling my baby move into the birth canal and started feeling the urge to bear down spontaneously which happened simultaneously with me making a low guttural sound.

Birth-Photography-Cape-Town---012-Newborn-birth-maternity-photography-Leah-Hawker

Birth-Photography-Cape-Town---013-Newborn-birth-maternity-photography-Leah-Hawker

I arrived with my camera just before the break of dawn. Shakirah was drained and exhausted, rocking and groaning in the middle of the bed with Ya’eesh supporting her lovingly through each contraction. The room was filled with warm intense colours and she was wearing a flowing robe. The whole scene was very intimate, and very beautiful. Light was slowly seeping into the room and with the suns rising, so she birthed her baby, it was surreal.

Birth-Photography-Cape-Town---014-Newborn-birth-maternity-photography-Leah-Hawker

Birth-Photography-Cape-Town---015-Newborn-birth-maternity-photography-Leah-Hawker

I reached in between my legs and felt his head, which felt unusually soft and squishy. I heard him make a sound too. Then a few more pushes and his body followed quite quickly.

I remember hearing, “Quickly, the baby’s coming!” Ya’eesh caught him and I heard him crying then I got told that he would be passed through my legs.

Birth-Photography-Cape-Town---016-Newborn-birth-maternity-photography-Leah-Hawker

The moment I saw him I was overcome with emotion and laughed and cried and kissed him at the same time. It felt as if everything disappeared for that second and it was just us. He was covered in slimy blood and I was kneeling in a puddle of blood and goo but none of that mattered.

Birth-Photography-Cape-Town---017-Newborn-birth-maternity-photography-Leah-Hawker

I looked over at Ya’eesh who was crying and kissed him and looked up and saw my mom, who it seemed, had appeared out of nowhere and she was crying too. It was a beautiful and emotional moment and it made the pain disappear in an instant and breathed new life into me.

Birth-Photography-Cape-Town---018-Newborn-birth-maternity-photography-Leah-Hawker

Birth-Photography-Cape-Town---019-Newborn-birth-maternity-photography-Leah-Hawker

I am totally satisfied with the whole experience and believe it couldn’t have happened any other way. I got my natural homebirth, with the support of two phenomenal, experienced women, whom I could not have done it without and my husband got to support me and catch our baby and my mom got to see her grandson as soon as he was born and this amazing event was documented for us to share with our beautiful boy one day.

Birth-Photography-Cape-Town---020-Newborn-birth-maternity-photography-Leah-Hawker